From my Broken Heart to yours: Ana Gaza, Inti Gaza Part 1

The first morning, I watched clutching my robe, my heart struggling to beat, hot tears stinging the backs of my eyes. I watched, paralyzed by the image of bombs dropping, of fathers running, carrying bloody children in their arms. I watched and felt so powerless.

It still amazes me, even though I know it's nothing new, that the media in the US can be so one-sided. It's appalling to me that they don't use their journalistic and investigative skills to look at the root cause. It is right for Israel to only "defend" itself? Why is it not okay for Palestinians to defend themselves? And why hasn't the Israel gov't said the truth about how many folks Hamas hasn't hurt with their retaliation? What is wrong with showing the truth? The truth is, is that we are all in the wrong. But why is Palestine only to blame? How is it that Israel can exist, can do these crimes and not be tried for them?

I wonder and think back to riding the 18 bus from Ramallah to Jerusalem. Several times, I road back and forth between the West bank to Jerusalem. Being accosted by young soldiers with M-16's who were hot and bored and had itchy trigger fingers.

I road in silence, trembling with the desire to say something of substance when they'd harass young mothers, other foreigners, teenagers who were equally bored or scared or frustrated with concrete walls and in guns in their faces. I remember, closing my eyes as hot tears burn the backs of eye lids, the french man who may have been imprisoned, if not for the boredom of the soldiers who finally found it unappealing to bother him on the bus. I remember back to watching, less than 6 inches from my face, an M-16, with trembling tiny fingers pointing in my direction as I tried to pass from one side of the country to the other.

Lets take a look at history and simplify it if we can. Lets say that you lived in a house a very very long time ago and it's been sold/given away and other generations have lived there. Other families doing just fine. And they know you're going through a hard time and are saying, "Okay, you're having a hard time, you can come and stay with us for a little while if you like," and their response is, "We're not going to stay for a little while, we're going to stay and you can go live in the dog house in the backyard and you can only go ten feet out on each side of the dog house and nothing more. And if you move, we'll shoot you." That's the situation in a nutshell. Of course there were Jews in the country already, but no one was trying to kick other folks out of their houses or off their lands.

I think back to my cousins and aunts and uncles not being able to leave the West Bank and see all the things I got to see in person. And being searched, having their bags looked in, having their trunks turned upside down, having their children scared.

I wanted to go to Gaza, but the farther south you go, the worse the soldiers are, the more security there is. No one rides the bus to the last stop I've heard. No one hardly dares unless they're with the news or an organization in their own car and even then, you need permission way in advance.

Human nature shows that when put between a rock and a hard place, you're going to want to fight back. You're going to push back against that rock because you're not going to sit there and get crushed. If someone, for example, from NY was only allowed to go from 14th street to 42nd street and only 125th when the Mayor felt like it and no where else and searched all the time, have your lights and water cut off periodically, be treated like an animal, you'd want to lash out too.

Palestinians and other Arabs alike didn't just start bombing and fighting out of no where. This didn't just HAPPEN because of boredom or evilness or Islam. This didn't just happen for no reason. Palestinians are fighting the way the Jews fought to stay alive during the holocaust. The Israels are treating Palestinians the same way they were treated. Just as a child abused might grow up and abuse their children.

So Israel can defend itself and Palestine can't? I don't condone either side. There shouldn't be any fighting. But there is. I just want folks to see why. Its not one-sided. Its not the mighty innocent Israel taking out those bad Palestinians. It's a genocide and a Palestinian Holocaust. Tell it like it is. For real and stop worrying about being PC. And why should Americans care? Because its our tax dollars that are paying for the weapons that Israel is using.

I know that some don't agree. That when they think Palestinian, they think terrorist, dirty, crazy Muslims, screaming women, evil men, exotic land. But Palestine, to me, is home. Is the beauty of the curves my cousins lashes make above her eyes. Is the fascination my uncle, my fathers younger brother, had in showing me every religious site for every religion in Bethlehem. Is the rise and fall of the voice of young men during morning prayers. Is the love I felt from every Palestinian I encountered. Palestine is home. It is love. It is the pump of blood and winding vitality streaming through me. And it hurts deeply to know that so many haven't gotten a chance and will never get a chance to see what I saw when I went to visit my family.

Some of the news in Palestine Today

I've been reading through the news and here's some of the stuff I found. It's all in english so folks can read it. I found things on the financial things going on, fighting between jews and arabs, martyrdom, and more. All this in one day of news. Heavy on my heart.

Israeli settlers cut olive tress in West Bank
Please wait ... West Bank, October 13, 2008 (Ramattan) – Israeli settlers on Monday cut more than 20 olive trees in the West Bank village of Gith, Palestinian farmers said. Jews from the settlement of Havat Gilad attacked Olive farms in several Cities of West Bank in the season of olive harvest.

Israeli seals West Bank Please wait ... Jerusalem. October 13, 2008 (Ramattan) – Israel security forces announced on Sunday night sealing off West Bank from Monday until midnight October 21, restricting the movement of Palestinian in the West Bank cities.

Security tight in riot-torn Acre

A number of houses in Acre have been torched in the riots

Hundreds of Israeli police officers have been deployed to the northern city of Acre after four days of violence between Arabs and Jews.

Overnight Jewish and Arab demonstrators threw stones at each other, before being dispersed by the security forces.

On Sunday the normally busy Old City was reported to be almost empty.

More than 50 people have been arrested since Wednesday when an Israeli-Arab man was assaulted for driving his car during the Jewish Yom Kippur holy day.

Just married and determined to die

Umm Anas was at the centre of a highly-staged event, but she was far from a cipher

There is a ceasefire in Gaza, but the BBC has found evidence of militant groups preparing for a return to violence. One group, Islamic Jihad, is training female suicide bombers.

Middle East correspondent Paul Wood went to meet a Palestinian woman who volunteered.

Palestinian PM Fayyad: ‘We Are at a Crossroads’ ‘Two-state Solution Teetering under Weight of Half Million Settlers’

October 13, 2008 - Palestinian National Authority (PNA) Prime Minister Salam Fayyad told a group of prominent American Palestinians in Washington on Sunday night that “we are at a crossroads" that could either lead to either "a bumpy road to peace" or the other way as "the two-state solution is teetering under the weight of 170 (illegal Jewish colonial) settlements and almost half a million settlers. And the time for a two-state solution is running out," Claude Salhani of the Middle East Times reported.

International support to PA may be decreased due to global crisis

Ramallah / PNN – The Ramallah government headed by Prime Minister Salam Fayyad is expressing concerns over the global financial crisis beyond price increases and a poor exchange rate. After decades of occupation the Palestinian economy relies heavily on aid for projects in infrastructure, including schools and security, but the Ministry of Planning said this week that funding outside parties may not top the priorities of donor countries who are themselves in trouble.

Threat to Islamic heritage of Jerusalem reaches critical juncture

Jerusalem / PNN - Incurring into Al Aqsa Mosque during a Jewish holiday was a dangerous attempt to link the Israeli agenda to the Muslim holy site. During the Yom Kippur holiday, as threats were levied against the Mosque, throngs of Jewish worshippers descended. Just days later a synagogue opened meters away from Al Aqsa. Dr. Hassan Khater, Secretary General of the Islamic – Christian Front for the Defense of Jerusalem, says a particularly dangerous period has been entered.